Wednesday, November 7, 2007

never eat alone by Keith Ferrazzi




Mid-way into the last half of this building-powerful-networks training, I discovered Keith Ferrazzi was not a democrat afterall. Possibly the many references to the Clintons threw me off. I may have to go back and read the first half of his book over again for a new perspective. Keith Ferrazzi, a name I'd love to hear pronounced, leads us in practical instruction about "building a lifelong community of colleagues, contacts, friends, and mentors" in his 2005 book, never eat alone. Claiming that all power is derived from relationships, Ferrazzi's instructions are clear: be purposeful about who you want to meet, strategize the relationships you'll need to meet them, and know what you can offer them when you do. What they can offer you isn't the point . . . yet.

As I read the book I waivered between knowing Ferrazzi was only telling blantant truth and the whole scheme seeming a little devious. The plans he gave for pursuing and rubbing shoulders with powerful people felt somewhat shrewd. However, I was delighted by the motivation I found to reach out of my little cubicle and interact with people. The entire time I was reading Ferrazzi's book I found myself calling--instead of emailing, inviting-- instead of eating alone, offering to help-- instead of finding excuses, and considering the needs of others before my own. In every conversation, I have been asking myself, how can I help this person say what they need to say or share what's in their heart? How can I listen more? I have since been more tuned in to hearing the other person's dream in their words and allowing it to come out in what they share. I started concentrating on what I could offer as a resource, a connection, or my time to help them take one step toward that dream. In return, I have been blessed by the joy that being part of their dreams has brought me.


TOP SIX Dreamer's To Do List:

1. Don't do it alone-- see if someone wants to join you. "Invite"
2. Introduce yourself to strangers-- and learn one thing about them (in addition to their name).
3. Keep track of the people you meet in a journal. (Where you met them, what you learned about them, how to contact them).
4. Know your mission (know what you want people to remember you for and share your passions)
5. Reconnect periodically with your people list (see #3) by email or a phone call or by invitation to something that might interest them.
6. Be Interesting by sharing well thought out content, "your content," and not keeping your passions and big ideas to yourself.

Although the cover of never eat alone states, "one relationship at a time," I didn't really catch that as key in the book. Counting friends on one hand, the idea of networking can be overwhelming. Being somewhat of a recluse, I felt bombarded by the relationship advice. Ferrazzi had me not only inviting someone to eat the meal with me but starting up conversations with powerful people at conferences that I would normally try to sneak in without being noticed and hide in my hotel room after the key speakers were done talking. I loved the challenge of getting out and interacting with people whether I knew them or not. Which by the way, reaching out made me realize I had many more friends than I could count on two hands!

For any of you "do it yourselfers" this is a great read to help you connect the missing links in your Dream Ranch Journey-- relationships. You absolutely can't do it alone and Ferrazzi is correct it takes connections to really make powerful things happen. You won't be afraid to dream the big dreams when you develop a supportive network of powerful people, who come to find out-- didn't get there alone either.

1 comment:

Kimberly Brixey said...

I decided if I was truly going to have meaningful relationships with a network of people I would have to get a lot more organized. My failing memory and difficulty remembering names was not going to help. Plan A: Overhaul the day planner beginning with the contact list. I sought out a number of options. New address sheets and pen and ink the updates in or go online (suprisingly enough there are a number of contact managers fully online). I wasn't comfortable giving up my hard copy altogether but I wanted more fields than a typical pen and ink address book and I wanted to be able to sort the list by different categories. So I opted for a mix between the hard copy and the online copy. I tried out that Microsoft Outlook icon that's been on my PC for many years and was pleasantly surprised. I was able to download all my contacts from my yahoo mail online address book into my Outlook address book and all my fields transfered! Then I cross-checked those with my old pen and ink address book and updated any missing fields. And then the greatest surprise of all-- I printed out a classic size day planner hard copy, 7 hole punched it, and inserted it into my day planner. Easy to update from either Yahoo or my PC and even from my cell phone with some synchronization I'll learn later-- I am all set to go to meet new contacts and keep them straight. I can add information to the old contacts as I have time. I am enjoying going through my old set of contacts and tagging on a few lines about how we met and some significant historical moments in our relationship(s). My the years fly by when you count the contacts.